Sex is supposed to be one of the most enjoyable activities you can do with your partner. For many people, however, this is not the case at all. Sexual performance anxiety is a real terror that can haunt you even after the deed is done. And it can be quite traumatic, too.
When one has sexual performance anxiety, sex is often unsatisfying, not just for the one suffering from the anxiety but also for the partner. When the partner is dissatisfied, it can be an added burden and further worsen the anxiety. Hence, it becomes a vicious cycle that’s extremely difficult to overcome. Nevertheless, there are ways to deal with it.
Sexual performance anxiety may come about as a result of various factors. To overcome your anxiety about sex, identifying its roots is a big step forward. For many people with sexual performance anxiety, the root cause can be traced back to their early sexual encounters.
Did your first ever sexual partner laugh at you because your penis is way too small compared to her expectations or because you were fumbling when you were trying to penetrate her vagina? That kind of experience can have long-lasting traumatic effects. And it wouldn’t be a wonder that you developed sexual performance anxiety because of it.
Having a poor genital body image or genital appearance dissatisfaction is one of the common factors leading to sexual performance anxiety. It’s a debilitating fear that your penis simply won’t measure up – either to your standards or your partner’s.
An unhealthy genital self-image is often linked to anxiety and embarrassment as well as sexual dissatisfaction and sexual aversion. On the other hand, a healthy genital self-image is associated with more frequent sexual activities and better relationships.
If this is what’s causing you to be anxious about your sexual performance, you should ask yourself if your penis size sums up your value as a person. You’ll most probably answer in the negative.Intellectually, the concept is easy to understand. But many take a long time in realizing that sex isn’t just about penis size.
Others may think of having a small penis as a disadvantage. Why don’t you try thinking of it as an opportunity to focus on the other aspects of sex? Even men afflicted with micropenis get to have satisfying sex, so there’s no reason why you can’t. Focusing on kissing and foreplay may even make sex more satisfying for your partner.
You can also improve your tongue skills. Oral sex is actually a very intimate form of sex and it helps improve intimacy and relationship satisfaction better than regular sex does. Think of it this way. If you can make your partner climax three times in a row just by using your tongue, chances are she won’t be coherent enough to criticize your penis size afterward. Better yet, she will most likely think of it as one of her most unforgettable and most pleasurable sexual experience.
Stress, in any form and whatever the cause may be, negatively impacts your mental state. This, in turn, can lead to poor performance in bed and contribute to sexual performance anxiety. In fact, stress can even cause situational erectile dysfunction.
Your body produces more epinephrine when you’re experiencing stress. The increased levels of epinephrine then inhibit your erectile response. Stress also prevents your smooth muscles to relax, thereby restricting sufficient blood flow to your penis. This, in turn, causes erection problems. Fortunately, the condition is temporary and usually goes away when the stressor is no longer present.
The point is, if you’re already suffering from sexual performance anxiety, you don’t want stress to further worsen the problem. Therefore, you need to relax so you can perform better in bed. You can try playing romantic music to help distract you away from your worries. You can also make use of aromatherapy by lighting scented candles. These can help you relax and, even better, help set the mood.
The good thing about exercising regularly is that it has several positive effects on your sexual function. First off, regular physical activity improves your cardiovascular health. And with a healthier heart and healthier blood vessels, you get better penile blood flow. In fact, exercising regularly is associated with improved erectile function.
Secondly, regular exercise can help you build your stamina in bed. Moreover, if you improve the condition of your core muscles as well as your thighs and buttocks, you can expect yourself to be able to thrust stronger and faster. Exercising regularly can also help improve your flexibility which should help you perform better in various sex positions.
And if you’ve got sexual performance anxiety because you’re not satisfied with the way your body looks, what’s a better way to improve your physique than regular exercise? Aside from improving your physical health, exercise is also a good way to improve your mental health.
It is widely known that regular physical activities increase the brain’s production of endorphins which means it makes you feel happier. Moreover, exercising regularly can help improve the balance of neurotransmitters and hormones in the brain. This helps relieve stress, anxiety, and even depression.
Wanting to have better sexual interactions is a normal thing. And if you’re suffering from sexual performance anxiety, it’s only natural for you to seek the help of specialists. Therapists, especially those specializing in sex problems, can guide you toward a better understanding of your condition and help you overcome it.
Moreover, just the act of talking to someone else about your problem can already help relieve your anxious feelings. One of the goals of therapists is to address psychological and emotional issues related to the problem, so you can expect your therapist to help you sort things out mentally and emotionally.
Another advantage of consulting a sex therapist is that they can give you great advice on techniques you can use to perform better sexually. You may even be given a homework on sex exercises that you and your partner can enjoy together.